So I just spent a grip of time watching fan videos for The Cure's "Close to Me." Total waste of time. Great waste of time. Anywho, I'm a bitter old man, so umma spend the next three minutes of my life dissecting the fake date in one of the aforementioned videos. Let's hop to it.
1. Why are you kids so vain? Why you gotta watch yourself try on eighteen different outfits? Real talk, it's not that interesting.
2. Or are y'all just heaps insecure? Nervous about your date? Well maybe you should think about finding a significant other that loves you for you, not for your leather jacket and cheeky hat.
3. But seriously, what a cliché. Ferris wheel? Carousel? Arcade games? Grow an imagination, you two.
4. Speaking of arcade games. Dude. Buddy. Your girl will crush way harder at Whac-A-Mole if you refrain from holding her shoulders like that. Increased dexterity and a wider range of motion allow for a more fluid strike. Ugh.
5. Etc. Amateurs.
Anywho, this song is lovely. Fridays are lovely. And so on. Happy weekend, Panda Fans.