How did people fight through hangovers in pre-internet times? I guess you could do things like "read" or "socialize," but both of those things are indisputably the worst even without a hangover. Like. TV? But what if you were at work? And yea, party rocking with a cat is a great way to fight through the headache. But like. Some people are allergic to cats. Right? I just don't get it. Pre-internet hangovers must've been the worst thing in the history of ever. Impossible.
Yes, yes, yes! I ordered an iPod yesterday. Which means I can finally ride the train again. And drown out the sound of brutality with noises by Taylor Swift and Katy Perry and Robyn and The Human League and Depeche Mode and Yazoo and MMG and whatever else. Because as tite as interacting IRL with friends can be, listening to strangers blah, blah, blah about this, that, and the other is so indisputably the worst thing ever. I just think people in general are super overrated, and hearing them exist is the ultimate struggle. So yea, I'm super hype on this whole iPod thing.
Was posted up at the bar around the corner from my spot last night. Yapping about a bunch of cheesy songs I play at one of my residencies. And NSR's all, "Blah, blah, blah, you're a Bar Mitzvah DJ, blah, blah, etc." And so naturally I just kept talking about my cheese and he did this thing he does where he rolls his eyes because he can't deal with what a cheesy turd he's hanging out with. Anyways. The gal DJing played an Avril Lavigne song. And I kinda got pretty super excited. But I'm all, "Chill, self. Or Noah's gonna make fun of you again, and that'd totally suck." So I got to thinking. Like. How long do I have to wait for an official compilation of Avril Lavigne's greatest hits?
Related: I really wanna go to the Warped Tour this summer. So if you're friends with me, live in NYC, and read this blog, please consider hanging out with thousands of 16-year-olds and me for a day. I'm looking at you, Noah. Miles and Drew. Kinney. Etc.
So this girl comes up to me. Asks me to play "We Found Love." And I'm all, "Yo, I already played it. Plus, it's 3:45 AM and I'm not allowed to play contemporary Top 40 after 2 here. Soz." And she's like, "I'm gonna fart on you if you don't play it!" And I assume she's kidding because, well, that sure would be weird if this beautiful girl farted on me for not playing "We Found Love," wouldn't it? But the joke was on me! The song was not played, and I was farted on.
Oh, and Scott Melker made a Moombahpop edit of the Chuckie remix.
OK guys. Gals. Y'all know me. I'm not that dude posting up OD "exclusive" set rips. "HQ" live rips. Whatever, etc. I'd much rather embed old Nicki Minaj and Pet Shop Boys videos. But this song? The new Avicii track? Possibly a collaboration with Nicky Romero? I mean, it kinda knocks in serious way. And I just couldn't wait. Because I have no self-control. Most people will probably go hammer for the "D.A.N.C.E." acapella. Which quite frankly I could do without. But regardless. Whomever it's by and whatever it's called and whenever it's to be released, this track sounds massive.
Also. Knightlife. New release on Cut Copy's Cutters Records drops tomorrow. And it's wonderful. Like are you hearing this Emperor Machine remix? It's just ten minutes of unimaginable awesomeness. Cop tickets to the EP launch party in Sydney with Cut Copy, Knightlife, Das Moth, and Francis Chang here.
Stevie Nicks is, like, ultimate cool. "Stand Back" is, like, the best song ever. This video is, like, the most glamorous video I've watched all day. So much twirling and flailing and hair. So many illington jackets. Sky Ferreira did a cover. Everything about this song is sew tite. Stevie Nicks is ultimate tite. Sky Ferreira is ultra tite. And etc.
While we're on the subject of "cool." Soulja Boy. My hero. I curse the heavens for not making me Soulja Boy each and every morning. God, look at his Jordans. God, look at his Ocean Gang crew neck. God, Soulja Boy is sew awesome. Ugh. I'm gonna go eat a cold slice of pepperoni pizza and wallow in self pity.
I'm thankful for mashed potatoes. I used to hate mashed potatoes. One time my mother, sister, and I ordered mashed potatoes from this chicken spot a few blocks away from us. They were eating the mashed potatoes when they found napkins shredded and mixed into the mashed potatoes. I did not eat mashed potatoes at the time, and I decided then and there that I would never eat mashed potatoes. But a few years later I realized that I'm fat and I love potatoes and milk, so mashed potatoes (which are more or less just potatoes mashed up and mixed with milk and butter) were, like, my dream food. I am thankful for mashed potatoes.
Oh man. Fade to Mind. Kingdom and Prince Will's label. New release out yesterday. MikeQ'sLet It All Out EP. Sew tite, sew tuff. The originals? Great. The remixes? Spectacular as well. Peep a sample of MikeQ's work from The Fader's SoundCloud page below:
Also. My friend A Bemused Frogloves filming things. Editing things. Directing things. Etc. Anywho, the kid dipped up to Manhattan to check out the Occupy Wall Street stuffs going down on November 17th. Filmed the goings ons, edited the footage, slapped a WU LYF song in there, boom! I mean I wish ABF had filmed and edited something I could really get behind like a new episode of Gossip Girl or a Mean Girls sequel that isn't the literal worst, but I guess this is pretty darned tite too.
Know what's totally rad? Riders. Riders are super friggin' awesome. "I need this. And this. And this. And it must all be at navel height! And some water. In bottles, because the environment is stupid. And some fruit so I don't get scurvy. And towels. I get OD sweaty, sorry." Riders make me feel cool and important and sophisticated and sleek and sexy and useful. Sigh. I wish I always felt this way.
Yea, Diplo wears turtlenecks. No, I don't care. Know who went super HB on turtlenecks? Jerry Seinfeld. That dude? That dude was a don. I mean no knock on Diplo. He's a fabulous DJ and producer and label bro and blah, blah, blah. But Jerry Seinfeld? He's the king. What a funny guy. Right? Like. That TV show ting he did? Seinfeld? Funny little show, no? I dunno. I'm watching it right now. Dunno why I'm awake at 8 AM. Anyways, Jerry crushed the turtleneck game. Cool guy.
Know what's really, truly awful? OK. So I really, really wanna go to Taylor Swift's show at MSG tonight. Or the show tomorrow night. I mean, whichever. Same to me, you know? But both shows are sold out. And I have approximately zero connects in the country music world. So guest list? Psh. Not in the cards, it seems. Why do bad things happen to such spectacular people?
I'm this close to completely losing my cool and throwing my computer out the window. Where in the wide world do I find Taylor Swift tees in men's sizes? I need this shirt. I need it more than I've ever needed anything in my entire life. Ever, ever. Jesus. Somebody. Guide me. I'm about to lose it.
Anyways. Found this remix a bit back. But it wasn't online or something. So hugs to Too Many Sebastians for reminding the kid to do a post thing, etc. Etc.
I honestly can't believe that hangovers like this still exist. Like. I'm a grown man now. Shouldn't I know my limits? Shouldn't I control myself? So I guess it's not that I can't believe that hangovers like this still exist. But rather. That. I can't believe that I keep doing this to myself. Oh. Also can't believe that I thought "Who Da Neighbors" was a good choice when my headache was going so hammer.
OK. So tonight. Tonight I'm opening for Matt Heckman. So I'll be at 49 Grove from 10-12. Then I'm party rocking the basement of LPR with the Pants Dance crew. Plus Anna Lunoe. And Julius Sylvest. And La Fitz. Spinning there from 2-4. And from 12-2? Drinking. Or taking a nap in the DJ booth of a club. Let's play it by ear.
See that picture up there? Swear to everything good and holy. That's the most Tubetops thing I've ever seen. James is crooning. Because yeesh, does that dude ever shut up? Christ almighty. And Algy? Light plaid shirt. Mega handsome stubble. What a stud, no? Mike with the ill cardigan. And ayo. Everyone. Peep Kev. Shouts to Kev for being secure enough in his awesomeness to be the only kid drinking a tall boy instead of a 40 in his band's press picture. (Weak.)
So anyways. Handsomeness and overall awesomeness of the crew aside. Peep these new Tubetops songs. They're sew, sew, sew ticey. Debut EP dropping on December 8th. Self-titled. God, it's gonna rock so intensely. I'm so proud of my friends. What awesome people. Musicians and gentlemen. Male models and role models.
Also. New single from The Knocks. Featuring Gary Go. "Magic." I'd write about how good it is, but I kinda gotta go brush my teeth. Just listen to it. It's good, blah, blah, it's great, etc. It's The Knocks, you know it's gonna be quality.
So I've been a Kansas basketball fan for like. Forever? Ish? First team I ever supported. My grandma used to give me KU shirts. With Paul Pierce and Raef LaFrentz and the such on them. Then my BFFL Breck went to school at KU. And I was all, "No way! Hooray!" Blah, blah. So last night I go to my first ever Jayhawks basketball game. In Madison Square Garden. And what happens? They get bodied by Kentucky. Like. Not even close. Not even entertaining. Just infuriating. Bah! Life is the ultimate struggle, life is the ultimate struggle, life is the ultimate struggle.
I've got a water bottle made out of aluminum. Or some kind of metal. Or whatever. And I like to fill it with water, put it in the refrigerator, and let it get mega OD cold. And then I sit in bed with my laptop on my lap (whoops) and sip on the coldest water this side of. I dunno. Glacier water? And my cat licks the condensation off of the water bottle. And honest to goodness, do you have any idea how cute he is? ZOMG, ZOMG. My cat is unreasonably cute and adorable and rare and legendary and majestic. Unreal.
So the new Nightshifters release. Lucid'sThe New Reprise EP. So tite. Originals? Tite. Remixes? Equally - if not exceedingly - tite. We've got Sam Tiba of Club Cheval, Jumpin Jack and Scottie B, and my personal friend Norrit on the remix tip. "Kewl." "Good job, team." These are loud and proud and rowdy and etc.
So my cat doesn't like (or isn't affected by) catnip. Which is obviously the most awful thing, like, ever. Like all I wanna do is get my kitty a little bit high. Like. Is that really too much to ask? Seriously? But no. Constantly in the realest of struggles. Shrug.
I remember blogging "Stuck on Repeat" like eighteen years ago or whatever, whatever. And then coming from New Hampshire to NYC to open for Little Boots at a BIGSTEREO and Palms Out CMJ party. And then a few months ago. Lending her one of my extra quarter inch adapters at a Neon Gold party so she could DJ upstairs while I DJed downstairs.
So basically what I'm saying is that our relationship is steadily progressing and that we'll be dating within the year and my five year plan consists entirely of marrying Ms. Victoria but only if she's down with cats. Cool, great, awesome, neat-o mosquito.
The worst part about hangovers has to be the boogers. Like they're either way, way too dry. Or maybe they're those guys that you pick. And you get 'em out of your nose. But then they're stuck on your finger. You know? And they won't flick off? And the more you push them, the more balled up they get? I'm deep in the struggle right now, y'all.
So I'm DJing at Bedlam again tonight. On 3rd and C. With Turbz and Ezra. And ZOMG on ZOMG, it's gonna be a rager. I dunno. I'll probably play "Who's Zoomin' Who" twenty or thirty times, then call it a night. Oh. Also. "Dance (A$$)" by Big Sean. And featuring the goddess Nicki Minaj. That's it and that's all. I guess.
Hello all. Do you live in New York? If so, do you know what the ill party is tonight? Because I'm trying to drink. And dance. Err, shuffle. But not like LMFAO shuffle. Just awkwardly shuffle. Awkwardly, drunkenly shuffle. Of course. So if you know where a gent like me can do a thing like that, lemme know. In the comments. Via email. On Twitter. You know, whatever method of communication you find most convenient. So long as it's not face-to-face. IRL things scare me. Thanz.
So why didn't anyone tell me that Party Girl is the best movie ever? Like. Parker Posey is my new dream girl. (It was her 43rd birthday yesterday. I sent her an e-card with kittens on it.) Gotta say though. All I could think about was, "Yeesh, is Guillermo DÃaz gonna be late for his gig?" I can't imagine a pre-Serato world in which you had to like. "Pick records." And. "Transport them to the club." Etc. I carry ten or so records in my equipment bag and I think it's the heaviest crap ever, ever, ever. Gah, bleh.
DJing at The Blind Barber again tonight. And it's gonna be awesome again tonight. But the thing is this. I need pizza first. I need fuel. But I don't wanna have to go outside. And what if the pizza makes me mega gassy? Nothing worse than going from party rocking to farty rocking. Gah, struggles.
So I guess umma go get a flu shot in an hour or two. Which I guess makes sense. Because I don't wanna get OD sick or whatever, whatever. But like. What if I just didn't get a flu shot? And I went out and copped myself some flu? And lost my appetite? And just like. Lost fifteen pounds in a week or something? To get me on that emaciated tip? That's gotta be one of the fastest ways to crush the heroin chic game, right?
Christ almighty. I'm super hungry right now. I ate some beans, but like. Yo, I need a proper meal. Meat. Potatoes. Maybe some spinach too if I'm feeling like the ill healthy lad. Water. Milk. Maybe a beer. Or I could just smoke a cigarette instead I guess. I dunno. I'll probably just go back to sleep and do none of the above.
Really can't tell you why I went so long without flossing. Like I used to floss every once in a great while back in middle school. Then high school rolls around and I'm all, "Flossing? Nah, get outta here. Nonsense." Then college. I mean. Duh. But like a month ago I'm all, "Flossing? Yea, I'll try it out." And you know what? It's kinda tite. Flossing is kind of the jam. No idea why I was so opposed to it for so long.
Also I guess Drake's album leaked and blah, blah, blah, whatever, etc.
OK. So I guess it's daylight saving time tomorrow morning? At one or two or whatever? Does that mean I'm DJing an extra hour tonight? Do I DJ from 10-4. But like. What really feels like five? What's happening here? I'm entirely baffled. Bewildered, even. Christ almighty. What a struggle.
Oh man. Guys. Girls. I'm at my old college. My "alma mater," if you will. I won't. But you might. I'm DJing a party here tonight. Gonna be. Like. Literally so fun, right? Oh my goodness. I'm gonna play "Moves Like Jagger" like eighteen times. And do the same dance I do when I play any Earth, Wind & Fire song. It's a crummy dance, but it looks good on me. Promise.
Went to the 99¢ store the other day. Copped a piggy bank with kittens and puppies on it. Three new scented candles. Dunno why I specified "new." Not like I'd buy used scented candles. I don't like my scents tampered with. Also. A value box of Kraft Macaroni & Cheese. Gosh. Best day in recent memory. So good in fact that I've written about it two days in a row. And I'll write about it again tomorrow. Let's go. Let's do this.
So I'm heading up to my alma mater to do a wee bit of DJing today. Err, I'm heading up today. DJing tomorrow. Which means I'll be feeling like an old man for the next 48 hours. The kids in college now? Clowns probably don't even remember Legends of the Hidden Temple. Probably never saw The Secret World of Alex Mack. Weren't in stitches during All That. And I find it remarkably difficult to respect anyone that doesn't come from my era of Nickelodeon.
So I got paid yesterday. And yea. I went hammer on the 99¢ store. Tin piggy bank with kittens and puppies on it? Check. Three new scented candles? Absolutely. Value box of Kraft Dinner? Obviously, duh. Sometimes life is just so indisputably good.
I mentioned that NSR and I have a Robyn mix coming out soon, right? I mentioned that I'm, like, the biggest Katy Perry fan ever, right? So, like, no duh I made a "Dancing On My Own" v. "Last Friday Night (T.G.I.F.)" mash-up! Like, way no duh!
Also. ZOMG. This video. Big Sean. Nicki Minaj. ZOMG, wowsers. Obviously I found this via Jubilee. Song? Good. Video? Great. Holy dear sweet party time. Again, ZOMG.
So I'm DJing that party last night. Pop outside for some "fresh air" or "a cigarette" or "something." And hey, it's B-Roc from The Knocks walking down the street! So we chat for a bit. Mostly about cats. Because cats are awesome, you see. And then he tells me about some new Captain Cuts mash-up. With "Dancing with the DJ." And "Levels." And I'm all, "Ayo, send me that!" And he's all, "Yea, OK, whatever." And then he leaves, and my boy's all, "Who was that?" And I'm like, "Oh, that was B-Roc from The Knocks. Sorry, should've introduced y'all!" And he's all, "Greg, are you famous or something? How do you know The Knocks?" And I'm all, "Yea, I'm basically crazy famous." Because I stay lying to my friends.
