Carly Rae Jepsen + Jay-Z + Scott Melker + Friendly Greg

All three or four of my friends kept hollering at me on Google Chat yesterday. And I'm all, "Chill dudes, I'm working." And they're like, "You don't have a job, what are you so darned busy with?" What am I busy with? First I have to go to Scottie's. Then we have to slow down the "Call Me Maybe" instrumental. And pitch adjust it. Or whatever. We have to find the perfect drums to slide under it. And the perfect "boom" to go with those drums. Etc. We have to figure out how to blend Jay-Z's "99 Problems" with all of that. Blah, blah, etc. And on and on and on. These Carly Rae Jepsen v. Jay-Z edits don't make themselves, people. This is a real job, damnit. This is hard work and it requires our undivided attention. Shoo!

Call Me Jay-Z (Scott Melker + Friendly Greg Popped And Screwed Remix) - Carly Rae Jepsen + Jay-Z by scottmelker

Scott Melker + Tyga + Drake + Lil Wayne + Simon Gain

Went to the dentist's office today. Had some cavities that needed filling. Had never had a cavity before. So yea, I'm nervous. Saw a cute girl on the train. Didn't say anything to her or make eye contact with her or smile at her or anything. Just stared at my feet. Per usual. My dentist has an XLR8R subscription? Whoa, that's pretty tite! Wait, do I really want some hipster dentist working on my teeth? Do I trust hipsters? Shouldn't my dentist be an old guy or gal that's kinda cranky but undoubtedly awesome at doing stuff to teeth since they're clearly not retaining customers because of their sparkling personalities? Whatever, I already have seventeen needles in my gums. No stopping now. New Scott Melker remix below, BTW.

Tyga v. Drake v. Lil Wayne v. Simon Gain - "Rack City v. The Motto v. Bazooka (Scott Melker Remix)"

Architecture in Helsinki + D. Lissvik + Haima

I'm in the struggle right now. I have to leave the crib in three hours. And I'll be gone for quite some time. Walking around and running errands and DJing and the such. I knew I'd be doing this today, so yesterday I thought about my food options. I decided I'd wake up early, eat a hearty breakfast, then scarf down a sandwich for lunch right before I left. Of course I didn't wake up early enough. So now the question is this: do I have enough time to eat both a hearty breakfast and a sandwich? And if I only have time for one, which one shall be consumed and which one shall be discarded? I don't even know, bro. I really don't even know.

Architecture in Helsinki - Desert Island (D Lissvik Remix) by modularpeople

Architecture in Helsinki - Desert Island (Haima's Remix) by modularpeople

Best Coast

Know what really pisses me off? It pisses me off when you're at a sports bar. Your team's bar, specifically. And whoa, that was a super awesome sports play by your favorite sports team! You're super, super happy! So is everyone else around you! So you're all jumping and screaming and clapping and this must be the best feeling in the whole wide world, no? And then some bro in front of you turns around with some big, dorky grin on his face. And he's giving out high fives like candy on Halloween. And he reaches out to you. And you're a socially incompetent buffoon, so you're like, "Who? Me? Are you trying to high five me?!" And yes, yes he is. But you're so flustered by the whole experience that you flub the high five. And now you're way tite at yourself for sucking at interacting with other human beings instead of being hype that Tyshawn Taylor just did this. Totally hate it when that happens.

Best Coast: The Only Place by Wichita Recordings

Motion City Soundtrack

OK. So I am very much not killing it in any way, shape, or form. Like I'm doing fine. I pay my rent, pay my bills, buy my food, by my cat's organic food, and subscribe to both Netflix and The New York Times (digitally, as we previously discussed). But I don't have an apartment with functioning locks. Or enough cardigans. Etc. Furthermore, no cable. And like I said, I was recently in Dallas. At home. And know what I've really missed? (Other than my puppy and my family and warm weather and all that jazz?) TBS and USA and Comedy Central and all of the channels that stay showing edited versions of Old School and Office Space and the such. Sew tite. God. Was there anything better than that when you were in like 6th or 7th grade? Other than the Swimsuit Issue and Victoria's Secret catalogs and your first beer or whatever? Sew tite.

Katy Perry + Skeet Skeet

I bought a NOOK while I was in Dallas. I used to be a smart dude. Read a lot. Knew a lot. More importantly, understood a lot. Etc. Then I started napping and DJing and drinking and stopped reading and exercising and etc. And I became stupider and fatter and it really wasn't the best look for me. Which brings me back to the NOOK. I bought it. Was like, "I'm gonna start reading again!" Subscribed to The New York Times. And oh my dear sweet goodness, people are so unfathomably mean. Murders and assaults of various natures and robberies and pretty much everything that politicians do. And I mean, gross. Right? Wish I hadn't started reading again. People really are the meanest.

But Katy Perry and Skeet Skeet are totally rad and this remix is totally rad and I'm just gonna listen to it instead of reading about how mean everyone is, OK?

Katy Perry - Part Of Me (DJ Skeet Skeet Remix EXTENDED) by skeet skeet

Gotye + Kimbra + The Electric Boutique + Sneaky Sound System + KiNK

Usually when I get promo emails I'm all, "I'll listen to this. But later, you know? Yea, I'll listen to this later for sure." And then I just listen to old Ne-Yo songs on repeat while I read Thought Catalog articles I've already read before and then I listen to Bag Raiders instrumentals and pet my cat and go to sleep. It's a thrilling life full of me never actually listening to any new music in the history of ever. But. I did listen to this "Somebody That I Used To Know" remix. And I was like, "Whoa, good song!" That's the end of my story.

Gotye Feat. Kimbra - Somebody That I Used To Know (The Electric Boutique Remix) by The Electric Boutique

Sneaky Sound System - Really Want To See You Again (KiNK Remix) by modularpeople

Turbz + The Proj

So I was super hype on warm weather as recently as yesterday. Then today hits and I have to go outside and walk around and run some errands and whatever and oh my goodness I'm sweating a little bit and this is a huge pain in the butt, isn't it? And my room's a bit warm so I might have to put my A/C in soon and oh my goodness that's the biggest pain in the butt ever, isn't it? And of course I'm OD paranoid and OCD or whatever and I'm always petrified that I'm gonna install my A/C poorly and it's gonna fall out of the window and crush somebody or something and oh my goodness, would I go to jail for that? I miss winter.

Do What You Feel, Feel What You Do Vol 1. by turbzmusic

Butt Cheeks 2020 by theproj

Funkystepz + Rihanna + Sebastian Ingrosso + Alesso + Dash Speaks

Just wanna take a moment here to show myself some love for having the ill low cholesterol. I eat like a pig, sit in bed in my underwear all day, and refuse to exercise. And still? Yes, still. Still low cholesterol. And I just joined a gym and started exercising and eating vegetables (gross, I know) and yo not for nothing but my cholesterol is gonna be on point if I stay doing this healthy adult nonsense. Feeling myself.

EDIT: Cop the Dash Speaks remix here.

Funkystepz x Rihanna - Birthday Cake [Miami Bass Edit] by Funkystepzuk

Sebastian Ingrosso & Alesso - Calling (Dash Speaks Neighborhood Remix) by Dash Speaks

Echo & The Bunnymen + Young Edits

Yo, are you serious? St. Patrick's Day? Clearly the worst thing in the entire world. First I have to go to some rooftop party at like 2 PM. For one, I shouldn't be out of bed before 3 PM. And for another, outside before 8 PM? In the sunlight? With a bunch of people with green bandanas and green flip-flops and green frat star sunglasses and a green beer bong and blah, blah, blah? Jesus. Terrifying. And I'm on this rooftop getting a sunburn and all I want is to hear "Call Me Maybe" but nobody's playing it and ugh! I mean it was great to see my friends and meet some new people (lies, I hate meeting new people), but let's not pretend like being outside and being sociable are two things that I've ever been comfortable with. Life is just so hard sometimes, you know?

Young Edits - Bring On The Dancing Whores by Young Edits

Richard Richard + Asher Diamonds + Kid Color + Beni + Brodinski + Capsule

Being home in Dallas is nice. Gained a few pounds, took a few naps, ogled a few southern belles, saw a few friends, petted my puppy, etc. But it's time to go home. It's time to go feed Greg the Cat. It's time to go DJ in hotels where it's required that I wear a button-up shirt. It's time to go pay $6 for a beer at a "cheap" bar. It's time to go blah, blah, blah. It's time to go to the airport, why am I blogging instead of packing?

Richard Richard - "Toro"

Beni - Last Night (Brodinski Remix) by modularpeople

Richard Richard: Toro (Asher Diamonds Remix) by Richard Richard

Richard Richard: Toro (Kid Color's Red Flag Remix) by Richard Richard

Capsule - Feelin' Alright (Extended-Mix) by Nello And Patrash

Lana Del Rey + Jay-Z + Scott Melker

Aw, shucks. Yung Scott Melker and his mash-ups. Or blends or edits or remixes or whatever you wanna call 'em. I dunno. They just keep coming and coming and coming and etc. And it's not like he's just slopping out one after the next. I mean, they're good. Really good. Like have you heard The Melker Project? It's beastly. Volume 2 coming (not) soon (enough).

Dirt Off Your Shoulder Vs. Born To Die (Scott Melker Remix) - Jay-Z Vs. Lana Del Rey by scottmelker

David Guetta + Usher + HOHME

Ayo. Big shouts to HOHME for DJing at Princeton a couple of weekends ago. I mean I've wanted to DJ at Princeton for. Like. Christ, I dunno. Like two years now? I see you wilding in your eating clubs, Princeton. And I wanna be a part of it. I wanna be the dude playing "Get Like Me" and Carly Rae Jepsen and "Holidae In" and the such at your parties. So thanks to you, Princeton, for wholeheartedly rejecting my advances with a resounding "meh." And yea. Big shouts to HOHME for not bringing me along as the ill opener. Thanks, buddy!

And even bigger shouts to HOHME for competing in an Arrested Development trivia contest. And making it through eight zillion qualifying rounds. All the way to the finals. My dude, I quintuple dog dare you to be a bigger nerd. Nice glasses, nerd. Jesus, what a dorky nerd.

David Guetta ft. Usher - Without You (HOHME Bootleg Remix) by HOHME

Mr. Jigga + GLOVES + SPF 5000 + Will Crawshaw

OMFG. Just got back from the eye doctor. Pupils dilated. Spent fifteen minutes walking around outside trying to cop a new band for this Mickey Mouse watch my grandpa gave me ten or so years ago. In the sun. "Daytime" is corny enough on a normal day. But on a day when my pupils are dilated and the sunlight makes me feel like someone's stabbing me in the eyes while pouring acid in the wounds? Gah, just make it stop already! But yea I got a new watch band and now my wrist is super ticey even though it's too small to handle a proper men's watch.

7 - SPF 5000 - Doorknocker (Will Crawshaw Deep Dub) mstr by SPF 5000

1 - SPF 5000 - Doorknocker mstr by SPF 5000

Mr Jigga - Wont U B Mine (GLOVES Remix) by GLOVES

Van She + Ishi + Redsean

So I went to the dentist today. And it started out super ill. Really swanky office. TVs and headphones so I could chill heavy while they took X-rays and the such. Blah, blah, etc. But then they hooked up the TV to the computer and started showing me pictures of my teeth. And like zooming in on the inside of my mouth and whatever, whatever. And yo. Mouths are disgusting. Have you ever seen your teeth magnified? Grimy. What a disgusting experience. I'm never kissing anyone ever again. Yeesh.

It Could Be The Same (Vemixed) by Van She

Kelly by Van She

ISHI - Disco Queen (Redsean Remix) by Redsean

PUNCHES

So I'm DJing tonight. Nothing too interesting. Just a standard NYC Saturday night kinda thing. But here's the deal. It's DST today. Which means I'm DJing five hours instead of six. Which means I'm either going to have to only play "Call Me Maybe" six times instead of seven times. Or I'm gonna have to play it in more rapid succession than I typically do. And I dunno, but this whole thing is really stressing me out.

Anyways. This new Punches. Um, yes please. And thank you. This EP is a beast. OMG, ZOMG. Like "Dancing Together." Are you hearing this? Are you hearing the way Midnight Magic's Tiffany Roth and Alan Astor croon together? Are you hearing Team Bresnitz's production? Ugh, so rad.

Punches - Dancing Together by OurLabelIntl

Mercury + Beni + John Talabot

So NSR and I are DJing the Kitsuné party at Santos tonight. Tickets are available here until 2 PM. Should be tickets available at the door as well. Anyways. Computer Magic. Really beautiful, right? Yea, yea, whatever. Know what's really impressive? The tops. Peep here and here and here and here and above and blah and blah and see you tonight at Santos.

Mercury - Running Back To You (Beni Remix) (Excerpt) by Gomma

Club Mod: F3 - Lonely Land (John Talabot Midnight Club Revision) by modularpeople

Black EL x Durkin

If you're like me, you have a lurking nostalgia for soulful hip hop beats. And if you're like me, you spend a lot of time on the internet looking for music, only to find that said soulful hip hop is in (seemingly) short supply. Fear not: Black EL x Durkin are back with a new record.

If you're not familiar with this Boston-based duo, Black EL provides the rhymes, Durkin provides the scritchy scratchy sounds and the fine ass beats. Together, they rock crowds, crush Street Fighter, and if you like your spirits warm and spicy, Durk will make you a mean hot toddy.

Their new record, The Collage, drops today for the price of $0.00, and I encourage you to check it out. Here's the video for Purgatory, their second single from this release. You can download the whole album in a neat little zip file here or check the whole thing in this nifty Soundcloud player.

Ladyhawke + Treasure Fingers + Gabriell + Ambiotika + Tyga + Emynd

Don't really have much on mind today. I guess I'll list all of the things I intend to consume. Skim milk. Lucky Charms. Fruit Loops. Baked beans. Wheat toast. Lots of butter. Caesar salad. (Without chicken.) Turkey. Provolone. (On toasted wheat bread. With hummus.) Whiskey. (Probably Knob Creek.) Beer. (Probably Budweiser.) I'm gross and simple.

Rack City (Emynd Doo Doo Brown Remix) by Emynd

Gabriell & Ambiotika - 3 minutes of love (Original) [Deepsession] by Deepsession Records

Ladyhawke - Black White & Blue (Treasure Fingers Remix) by modularpeople

Sam Sparro + The Magician + DJ Apt One

Worked all day. Made myself sandwiches. Blah, blah, it was boring. So I decide to treat myself to a salad for dinner. And not just any salad. An ordered salad. God, this is gonna be awesome. So I place my order through Seamless (because no way in hell am I gonna use a phone, pay with real money, etc.) and wait. I get a call. My food's here. So I go downstairs to sign for my food. And are you serial? The delivery dude is the most tough, rugged bro in the history of salad delivery. And here I am in sleepwear and slippers being too lazy to do so much as make myself a salad. How emasculating.

Sam Sparro "Happiness" (The Magician Remix) by TheMagician

Jam Jam Jam (DJ Apt One Edit) by DJ Apt One

The Velvet Underground + Gigamesh

So I'm watching Moneyball for the first time. And yo. Why is Brad Pitt lifting weights and jogging and doing pull-ups and working out in general throughout the entire friggin' movie? Are you serious? Dude's out there getting paid to get even more handsome? Like. My bad, but I don't need to be watching the best looking dude ever get even better looking while I'm here sitting in bed in my underwear eating pizza getting even more disgusting. Ocean's Eleven? Great stuff. Dude's eating the whole time. And I'm like, "See? He's a fatty just like me. It's OK, self. You're not that pathetic." But this? Watching this man do this while I do this? Well now this just makes me hate myself.

The Velvet Underground - Rock & Roll (Gigamesh Edit) by GIGAMESH

Moonbootica + Lorenz Rhode

I don't know how to whistle. I've never been able to do a cartwheel. I couldn't blow a bubble with bubble gum until I was in sixth grade or something. One time at summer camp I sweated so much that the paint wore off of my glasses and the raw metal rubbed my head weird and I got this really gross rash. I didn't like ranch dressing until my junior year in college.

So yea, those are some things.

Moonbootica - ICONIC (Lorenz Rhode Remix) by LorenzRhode

Kindness + Cosmic Kids + Canyons + Duke Dumont

So yea, I'm "unemployed." Or I guess technically I'm "self-employed" or whatever, whatever, whatever. I DJ and blog and write and whatever, whatever, etc. The point is that I very rarely put pants on. So I guess you could say that I don't really effect all too much change in this here world of ours. But look at The Hype Machine's popular page. Carly Rae Jepsen's "Call Me Maybe" is #21 on the charts. So here I am. Begging. Pleading. With you, the reader. Please. Please "heart" that there song. Let's bump it up. Support Carly Rae Jepsen and her difficult name and awkward video and hyper-glossy pop song. Together we can change the internet.

Kindness - Gee Up (Cosmic Kids Edit) by CosmicKids

When I See You Again (Duke Dumont Rain On Kilimanjaro Mix) by modularpeople